How to Run an Instagram Page for Your Dog (And Totally Lose Control of Your Life)
It starts innocently enough: you post a cute photo of your dog. Maybe they’re wearing a tiny sweater. Maybe they’re giving you that one look that says “I’m adorable and I know it.” People like it. You think, Hey, I could do this more often!
Fast forward six months, and you’re lying flat on the ground in a park, dangling a piece of cheese, whispering, “Do it for the likes, buddy.” Congratulations. You now run an Instagram page for your dog.
Here’s how to properly run your dog’s Instagram account (and slowly but surely spiral into madness):
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1. Accept That Your Dog Is Now the Main Character
You? You’re just the assistant. The intern. The unpaid paparazzi. Your dog is the star. You will spend an uncomfortable amount of time arranging photo shoots, picking filters, and wondering if your dog’s “brand” is more “cozy cottagecore” or “edgy city pup.”
2. Master the Art of the Caption
You need captions that sound like your dog is texting their 8,000 closest friends. “When mom says no more treats but you know where she hides them #sneakysnack.” Or “Feeling cute, might bark at nothing later idk.” If you’re not writing in your dog’s voice by week two, are you even trying?
3. Bribe Shamelessly
Treats. Toys. Wild promises of walkies. You’ll do whatever it takes to get that perfect shot. Your camera roll will be 97% blurry action shots, 2% butt pictures, and 1% that one blessed photo where they’re actually looking at the camera.
4. Embrace the Outfit Game
At first, you think, I’m not one of those people who dresses up their dog. Spoiler: you are. Tiny raincoats, Halloween costumes, bandanas for every major holiday — your Amazon cart will be 90% dogwear before you know it.
And when your dog looks at you like you’ve personally betrayed them while wearing a bee costume? That’s just the price of internet fame.
5. Hashtag Like Your Life Depends on It
#Dogsofinstagram #Pupper #FluffyFamous #Pawfect #SnootSquad — you’ll need at least 17 hashtags per post, minimum. Bonus points if you invent something like #MochaMondays (even though it’s Wednesday and your dog’s name is Kevin).
6. Prepare for Fame (Or, More Likely, Your Mom Commenting “So cute!!!” on Every Post)
Maybe your dog will become Insta-famous and get free treats sent to your house. Or maybe your biggest fans will remain your immediate family and a suspiciously enthusiastic account called “Best_Pet_Accountz_2025.” Either way, your dog is still a star.
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Final Thoughts
Running an Instagram page for your dog is pure chaos — but it’s the good kind. It’s messy, it’s ridiculous, and it’s filled with lots of treats, nose boops, and moments that make it all worth it. Besides, if someone has to document the life of the world’s cutest dog… it might as well be you.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find a tiny birthday hat and try to explain to my dog why this photoshoot is “very important for his brand.”